I’m always on time.
My grandma is always late. Drives me nuts.
No. I don’t know many people who brag about being on time.
Lately, we’ve been having incidents with the kids stealing junk food and candy out of some of the cabinets. We had to get hook locks with the eye bolts. It’s sad that we have to lock up the food because they are sneaky. I mean, now, it’s junk food, in a couple years it’s going to be alcohol. We weren’t allowed to get food without asking at either my aunt’s or my mom’s house. We still ended up getting fat but we pigged out on our meals, not junk food. I loved mashed potatoes and would fill my plate with them. I hope by keeping them in sports will help them balance out their diet with exercise.
Yesterday, my mom and I went to the Salvation Army to buy the kids summer clothes. She didn’t want to spend a fortune on clothes that were going to be used to play in the dirt and I can’t blame her. She was able to buy a ton of outfits for each of them and herself for $150. They are good for the whole summer now. I remember as a kid, how much I hated the Salvation Army. Mainly because I didn’t have much of a say in what was bought. It had nothing to do with the clothes being used, just what they looked like. I remember this one pair of shorts in particular that I hated. They were denim-like long like boy shorts but were red with white stripes. Ugh. I guess I should be happy that I at least had clothes. These kids are lucky because I have enough common sense to look for brand names for them.
At this particular Salvation Army, it looks as though it’s a warehouse. It’s HUGE and they have a ton of clothes, toysrustic dining tables, and older electronics like TVs and VCRs. We found Titanic on VHS and when I mentioned that we didn’t have a VCR an older gentleman jokingly pointed out that they have some towards the back. I also found a Tic Tac Toe drinking game. All of these things only cost us $150 total. That’s a successful shopping trip.
It seems our pool isn’t going up this year. Our yard isn’t level enough for it. It sucks but at least we have a pool at a nearby park. My mom needed to buy a new ladder and a larger pool filter anyway. Since it’s an above ground pool, we don’t need a pool safety net, we just have to take the ladder out1. It was nice to have our own pool. It kept the kids occupied in the summer while I sat and watched them from the porch. I was able to work on my laptop while keeping an eye on them. Also, from June to August, I was bottle feeding Bailey2, an abandoned kitten, so I would take her out on the porch, in her tote, feed her and lay her back in her tote to sleep in the sun. It was nice to be able to let Lily swim, too. She loved it and was surprisingly good at it for a first timer3. I would have loved to let Ollie have at it this year. I enjoyed it, also, as we had large fences on either side of the yard and I wasn’t embarrassed to be able to go out in my bathing suit to get in. I guess it’s back to t-shirts and shorts as my bathing suit as I didn’t loose enough weight by summer as I would have hoped. Oh, well. Next year.
I still can’t believe that it’s been an entire year since Bampa passed away. At times it seems so long ago and others, it feels like yesterday. Although, we had a viewing for him, I’ll never get the image of him laying on that table out of my head. All I wanted to do was yell his name to wake him up. I wanted to wake up. I still think about whether or not there was something we could have done differently and maybe he’d still be alive. Then I think about us having Grandma with us and although her health hasn’t fully improved she has gotten so much better since his passing and I know that everything happens for a reason. I wish I could say that he’s in a better place but I don’t believe in heaven or hell and I wonder if maybe that’s why I took his death so hard.
The only thing I have left of him is the memories of the times we shared. I’ll miss calling him and telling him about something I did or accomplished. He always made me feel like no one else compared to his Princess. In his eyes, I could do no wrong. If I ever disappointed him, he never let me know it. Even when I displeased other family members, he always stood by me. From leaving school to my tattoos and piercings, he always told me he was proud of me, and how much he loved me. Even when I yelled at him for disrespecting Grandma in front of us Grandkids, he called me after we left to apologize, tell me how proud he was for me standing up for her, and to thank me for being me.
He wasn’t perfect. He missed out on a lot of our lives. However, I believe it takes a special person to make such an impact from his bed. He was my superman and although I knew that he could die, I never thought that he would. I wish I had gotten more than 19 years with him. Hell, I wish the kids had gotten more than just a few years with him. He was one of a kind and I miss him everyday and no matter what, I won’t ever forget him. I have to do my best to help the kids remember him, too.
I love and miss you, Bampa. I hope we make you proud, every day.